Busy busy busy

No posts for months, how slack!
But I now have two jobs (own business plus part-time retail work), plus finishing up uni (assignments, exams, everything!) and charity/volunteer work...it is just too much.
So I have decided to put this blog on hold, just until I get back on my feet and things settle down :)
Adios!

changed ambitions

When I first started at uni, all I had in my sights was a big corporate career; wearing a 'success' suit, earning a six figure income and having a ton of workers under my supervision, like little worker ants scurrying around and obeying my orders. Actually, I think I shared this disposition with most of my fellow business degree undergrads. Children, I thought, would factor in somewhere around 30, and I'd pop them out and return to my Big Important Corporate Career faster than you could say daycare. I started my own marketing agency to test the waters. I studied business book after business book. I dreamt of being profiled in BRW as one of the rare ones who 'had it all'.
What a load of crap.
Now, each to their own and good on you if that's what you truly want and are making it happen (and you are happy)! But about a year ago something changed in me. No longer did I want the pressures of a corporate career or to set myself up for a struggle between work and children. I would've been on my way to becoming a stressed out, overworked and miserable person. And as I got older, I wanted children younger. Like, now. Even though I'd never dream of being a stay-at-home-mum (because I'd have my Big Important Corporate Career, duh!), right now it feels like my calling. I love to work but now I'm focusing it more on working from home, establishing myself so that when children come along I can be there with them everyday and bring in a small but helpful income on the side. Surprisingly, I am also happy to step back into traditional gender roles and would prefer it if my partner was the breadwinner whilst I looked after the kids. You would never hear that come out of my mouth a few years ago.

My new ambition is to create a happy, loving family...to work a little but focus purely on happiness. Because seriously, life isn't a dress rehearsal and nobody on their death bed says they wish they'd worked more.

life frequencies

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Energy.
The very thought conveys images of matter; a cluster of invisible vibrations containing atoms and molecules. It blows my mind, this 'stuff'. Perhaps because energy is invisible yet present in everything. Without energy, we would cease to exist.
We mere humans see things as wood, steel, flesh, dirt, liquid, gas. All of this is just matter; energy. But what about what we don't see - and what we haven't yet discovered?
Vibrating frequencies are present everywhere. Since we discovered facts like mobile phones emitting microwaves, and electrical boxes containing a forcefield of powerful energy - we have also recently discovered that these invisible frequencies can have dire consequences on our health if we receive regular exposure to them.

Which brings me to the question - what haven't we discovered? They say afterlife and ghosts and spirit guides and other woo woo happenings are a result of our imagination trying to deal with abnormal encounters - but what's not to say they are just matter vibrating on a different frequency, but sharing our same world? Think about it. We could have layers upon layers of paranormal or even extraterrestrial matter all existing together but not in tune with each other. This could explain why some people are gifted clairvoyants or psychics - their frequencies are able to be picked up on a different level, thus they tap into these other layers around us.

It is something that we are never going to know, unless our technology further develops and science is able to 'prove' this. Human beings are a very self-centred species and the extent of what we don't know really hits home when we think of just how insignificant and small we are in the scheme of things. I really hope that one day we are able to find out the truth - but then again, the mystery keeps us all on our toes.

manifesting problems

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Do you talk to yourself? I do. All the time. Actually I have about a conversation with myself almost every time I'm alone.
These conversations are all in my head, rarely are they out loud. And they tend to be about a problem or issue or future confrontation that I'm focusing my energy on at that time.
I really need to stop doing it though. By having these created conversations in my head, I am focusing on negativity and rarely does it get me anywhere. Most of the time, the situation does not even happen, or it never happens the way it plays out in my head. I work myself up for nothing. I actually get a pain in the pit of my stomach that reminds me to stop, take a big breath and let it go.
A few months ago I had a pretty traumatic experience that I just can't get out of my head. It has been my focus since it happened, and I keep imagining myself coming face to face with the person who caused it all and how the conversation would pan out. It's making me very unwell and stressing me out even though nothing has happened since. But I'm a big believer in manifesting what you focus on, and I keep narrowly missing coming into contact with this person. It's too close for comfort though.
It is SO easy to say, 'the past is in the past, let it go' or 'don't let that person rule your life' etc...but it is so hard to stop your mind wandering back to the incident and the person - especially when their name is spoken almost every day, in a positive-light.
Does anyone have any tips I can implement? I try to stay positive most of the time but when it comes to this person I pretty much go to pieces and can't let it go.

half year intentions

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This is inspired by Laura's post at One April Morning.


On the 14th January 2011, I made two resolutions: build my house, and continue to train and eat well. The latter has been pretty easy, with my training coming along in leaps and bounds. The former? Well, things change. It has been put on hold for a few years whilst we figure out what our next 'stepping stone' will be. Actually, I feel as if my carefully constructed Life Plan has been turned on its head.


Due to this, my intentions for the rest of 2011 are:

• stop planning the big things for now - just let life take me where I need to go. Put faith first and know that I'll end up where I'm meant to be. See everything as an adventure and a learning opportunity.
• stop talking and start doing - this is particularly relevant to me right now.
• try to look at everything in a positive light, always.

a slow city

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I am taking a tourism marketing subject this semester (last semester at uni after five long years!) and I need to create three reports on a tourism issue over the course of the semester. I am very excited as I am passionate about something called the Cittaslow Movement. I will implement this idea/strategy across all three assignments if I can, and will also report my findings on this blog. Please stay tuned if you are interested in this! I hope to see many more communities take on this way of life.

review: minding frankie

I finished reading the delightful Minding Frankie by Maeve Binchy the other day. In a nutshell, it is about a little community of people who take turns babysitting a child. Stay with me here...
It is an amazing story with many charismatic and flawed characters. Actually, so many 'main' characters that it probably wouldn't work in any other book - but Binchy ties them all in together so nicely so that you're not overwhelmed with keeping up with them all. Amongst the main characters is a recovering alcoholic, a workaholic with no friends and no personality, a couple of elderly characters, a priest, a girl who puts her life on hold for a one-sided romance, a doctor and his wife, a cancer patient, and a lady who is glue that holds everything together - and these characters are just off the top of my head, there are many more!
A lighthearted and easy read, but with enough depth for the important issues and a really, really good writing style, I highly recommend this book to anyone.

love this

“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand… It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: we are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements – the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for life – weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and they only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. The stars died so that you could be here today”Laurence Krauss

Woke up this morning to find this by the lovely Jo Foster. Had to share.

in training for survival

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I've been intensely training since October 2010 with my trainer. At first it was to lose weight and tone up, but it has become much more than that now. This may sound very corny, but I'm now training for survival. I want to be at my peak in physical fitness, and in top mental and emotional health, so I can deal with whatever is thrown at me, at anytime.
Worst case scenario: I can't help but think, somewhat pessimistically, that maybe Australia is too lucky...maybe we are just sitting ducks a la Tomorrow When The War Began. In that case, I need to be in peak physical fitness to be able to survive.
Or, say, dealing with natural disasters like floods, storms, fires. I want to physically be able to get out there and help people, not sit at home thinking everything's ok cause I'm ok. 
I've been doing a lot of boxing too, which has helped immensely in self defence. I can throw a very hard punch and I have quite a bit of muscle mass behind me, so I feel that I have half a chance if I were placed in a threatening or volatile situation.


Whilst these things may sound depressing, it is a case of survival of the fittest. But what's not to be overlooked is strength of mind and strength of character. I want strength of mind to be able to deal with the inevitable human emotions: loss, hurt, fear. I need strength of character to be able to take things in my stride and carry on. To stick to my guns and never, ever compromise on my morals and values.
Whether it's dealing with pregnancy/birth, helping people out, running around after kids, dealing with a death in the family, I need take it all on and run with it. Good sleep patterns, meditation, low stress levels, exercise and nutrition is my strategy to achieve this.

a place to call my own

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I live with my grandmother, and have done so for a little over a year now. The boy and I lived on our own for pretty much six years before she invited us to keep her company. Things have been pretty good, apart from a few stressful situations. But I feel it is time to move on and find a little place to call my own.


Plans change. The original 'Plan A' was to live with Grandma until we built our dream home on our average-sized, suburban block of land. Now, after much deliberating and discussion, I think we have decided to sell our little piece of land and buy an older house. One that isn't all sparkly and new. One that needs work, needs love. One that we can work on - the boy being very handy and me being good at interior design - and turn into our own little home.

Why the change of heart? After a few comments were thrown about, we decided what we really want, long term, is a few acres...not necessarily in isolation, but just a big, spacious property where kids can climb trees and my hyperactive kelpie/staffy can run around to his heart's content. Where I can plant orange trees and apple trees and lemon trees...have an expansive veggie garden overflowing with fresh produce. Maybe even a few chooks. Where we can build a cubby house for the kids, have the typical Aussie 'tyre swing' from a big gumtree, maybe even a little dam.
I can't afford that dream property at the moment, so buying an older house for now feels like a stepping stone towards this. I'm also keen to start a family in the next 24 months, and I can't do that until I have my own place and everything is settled.

Actually, I think that is what this whole restlessness is about: I just don't feel settled in my life.

when a bad day turns good

This morning was one bad incident after another. From my car not starting, to forklifts not working at work to almost falling off a ladder from two stories up...it seemed today couldn't get any worse.
Slowly but surely, as your mindset starts to change from negative to positive, things get better.

Last week I found a fraudulent overseas transaction on my credit card, worth $500 - this afternoon my bank had investigated the activity and reimbursed me. I had a lovely conversation with the sales girl at a health store, nice to know that females still can be friendly rather than catty. I needed to edit 10+ articles and the writer was just fantastic, making my job a breeze. I was sent an unexpected cheque that was a credit for something I overpaid. I then received an email before I left work saying that I've been selected to permanently contract my editing services to another educational facility (already contracted to one), with consistent weekly work (any freelancer knows consistent, weekly work is the be all and end all). I come home and the boyfriend was able to get the car started, which means no major issues and no $$$ needing to be spent. My Grandma had also cooked up a feast, so I didn't need to cook. And I have now finished all my work early and can relax and read a good book before bedtime.

Ahhh :)

just write

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I have always had a soft spot for writing. Over the past eleven years, I have written some good pieces followed by a lot of not-so-good pieces. So, being ever the perfectionist, I all but stopped. It wasn't good enough.
Recently, I had to write some assignments which I was dreading. I had no idea where or how to start, and most importantly, how on earth I'd come close to the word limit. And then I started to write. It was like I had a vein that ran straight from my imagination to my fingertips; it completely bypassed the logical and analytical part of my brain and the words went unadulterated onto the document. My fingers raced across the keyboard and could barely keep up with the thoughts and ideas spewing from my head.
However, it's one thing to word vomit, it's another for it to make perfect sense. Which it did. And as I re-read the words over and over, I was quite proud, and amazed, at what I had written.

Something had changed. I'm not sure whether it is to do with the different books I've been reading lately or through editing some great writers' work, or maybe just through maturity. But something has definitely changed. I've since decided that I'd like to undertake an associate degree of creative writing, mostly out of self-interest but also to help me be a better editor. And I also wanted to start another blog that had more of a writing focus, rather than superficial tales of my life - hence The Lighthouse Light.


Inspiration has also been a major factor. I am inspired by a variety of people, both famous and non-famous. Including my two main 'writer' inspirers, Sarah and Laura. I've also recently succumbed to the charisma of Anne Lamott, too. Amazing lady.

So I am planning to put pen to paper/fingers to keyboard and just write. See what I come up with. Spend time on each piece, do the research, review draft after draft, and create.

my week in pictures

So when I started this blog, I had full intentions of posting every few days. That went out the window when my freelance business had me working 14 hour days plus weekends. Yes, poor me... And so I'm left with such guilt regarding this new little blog, that I need to at least post something! So here is my week in pictures (when I wasn't working!)...

I'm a bit of a colour chameleon with my hair....a natural blonde who has spent the last 14 months on the dark side...well on Wednesday I brought out my inner ranga and went red (even though it's more like a plummy brown). I'm loving that the colour really brings out my green eyes though!

Loving this Crossroads shirt and Jacqui E belt...the shirt actually has khaki greeny-brown stripes, and the belt is a silvery grey, but putting them together just works.

 Some of my reading list...which I plan to devour guilt-free allllll weekend.

I actually bought an EZReader from Dick Smith's which ended up being completely faulty. After a week of frustration and a refund from the lovely sales assistant, I now have a beautiful Sony Reader which I highly recommend!!

And lastly, I couldn't go past this beautiful tan bag at Sportsgirl...my Mum told me that since I always wear black shoes, I must match it with a black bag. This was my compromise haha. It almost has a moleskin feel to it, with plenty of room for all my crap plus big enough for uni notebooks. Perfect.

Love,

B



intro

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The lighthouse what?

The lighthouse light came about from the song 'lighthouse' by The Waifs. To me, the lighthouse resembles strength and direction; a guide who lights your path when you can't find your way.
In my life, I am trying to find my own way...to do away with the junk and toxicity, and to live purely and simply for me. I am a life adventurer, who feels that the world is becoming more and more fake, and has more of a focus on keeping up appearances rather than creating experiences. I am getting down to my roots, discovering new things and trying to stay true to myself. It is easy to get caught up in the frivolities of life and I do occasionally succumb to this. But for the most part, I'm here to get a little dirty.

This new blog will be different from my previous. Whilst it will still contain snippets of my life and probably the occasional woe-is-me post, I would like to think that there'll be more of a focus on my writing and my ideas and my inspiration. So here's to a new blog and a new beginning, I do hope you enjoy reading as much as I'll enjoy writing it.